Constantly struggling!

Even after a large amount of weight lost I still struggle constantly. Every day I have to make choices to stay healthy. HARD CHOICES!  I love my new job however there are always opportunities to be tempted by food that makes me salivate and want to cheat. I don’t deprive myself by any means because what I know about myself is if I don’t allow myself to eat some treats I will crave them and then eat too many. Then I feel terrible about myself and that is just flat out counterproductive. I LOVE SWEETS. That is my biggest struggle. There are always donuts, cake, casseroles and so many other temptations available. I have to have just a little slice of cake or just a taste. I remind myself often how very hard I worked to get to where I am right now. It was a struggle but so worth it. I have changed my lifestyle and I intend to keep it that way. However, it is so difficult but I have a lot of strength and I want to continue to live a happy healthy life.

The emotional aspect of my weight loss

My weight loss journey was about so much more that just dropping the pounds. The nuts and bolts of weight loss for me were definitively changing my eating habits and exercise and those required a physical commitment. My lasting success in my weight-loss journey absolutely involved powerful emotional breakthroughs.

My first step was to develop a healthier attitude towards by body, my weight and food. This was not easy for me to do and was definitely a process. A huge challenge for me was the fact that food is a major element in every social gathering. I was used to celebrating with food, fighting stress with food, and even mourned with food. So, where did that leave me? I realized I had an emotional dependence on the wrong kind of foods and I ate to help cope with many things in my life. I also had a very negative image of my body and still struggle with this. I have lost 95 pounds and still imagine myself as an overweight person. I had made a physical commitment to finding a healthier me and had started to see results. This time I was not going to give up. I had to think long-term. This journey for me was going to be ongoing and was not going to have an end. I was okay with that.

I had decided to commit myself to learn what changes were necessary to be successful long-term. It was really amazing what a simple change a mindset can do. I had to change my thought process towards my journey. I also had to understand that everyone's journey was their own and my relationship to food is my own. What was my emotional attachment to food? I now needed to see food as a tool to find a healthier me for my lifetime. When I get stressed I call a friend, exercise, write in my journal rather than eat and stuff my emotions down farther and pretend that everything was just fine.

Another huge struggle I was having was a fear of being myself. I tended to be a person who prentended everything was perfect, had it all together, was flawless and who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. This was so very unrealistic but what if people didn't like who I really was? What if I was just myself and no-one liked me for me? I finally realized I was being dishonest with myself and everyone else. I decided I needed to be myself and who I really am and if people didn't like me for me that was not about me. I do have flaws and no-one is perfect in this world. I wanted to be a genuine person. I also did not care about myself very much at all. I always put everyone else first and let myself and my marriage fall to the wayside. I was such a people-pleaser that it became extremely harmful and toxic in my life. I realized that life in many aspects is a work in progress.

Living my life as myself flawed and all was quite an adjustment for me but I feel like I have taken a mask off. A mask I had worn for years and it felt good. A huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders (pun intended).

In more ways than one I was now motivated to make lasting healthier changes in my life. The challenges I faced were absolutely worth it. I still struggle but feel very successful and now have the tools to stay motivated. The emotional component was the biggest piece of the weight-loss puzzle for me but also the motivator for me.

Creative ways to add exercise to your day!

Adding a little movement throughout the day can make a difference. Sometimes I don't have time to get to the gym and workout so these are some of the creative ways I fit exercise into my day.

• Walking-If the weather is nice, it's wonderful to get outside and enjoy the scenery while you are exercising. My recommendation is create a fun upbeat play list to get your butt moving. I also try to park in the farthest parking spot away from the store I am going to. It encourages me to add in extra walking. It seems small but sometimes small changes make a big difference especially if you do it often. I also love walking with a friend. I enjoy walking and talking and don't even realize how far I have walked. I use the Noom app on my phone to track my distance though. I love this app. It is nice to know how many miles I have walked.

• Jumping Jacks-I know they are something we all had to do as a kid but they are a great cardio exercise. I challenge myself and see how many I can do during each commercial when I am watching TV.

• Squats-These are a fantastic exercise for your legs and buttocks. I do these with a medicine ball in my hands for added difficulty. I also could also do these during commercials.

• The Flex Challenge-Flex your abs and buttocks everytime something happens. Everytime I walk through a door, stand up, sit down, every ime I turn the steering wheel while I am driving.
• Brushing teeth lunges/wall-sits-While I am brushing my teeth do lunges or a wall sit. You should brush your teeth for 2 minutes so I add some exercise while I am doing it.

• Washing dishes/Calf-Raises-While I am washing dishes I doo some calf raises. They are not too difficult and I fit them both in at the same time.

• Dance-While I am getting ready in the morning I put on some music that makes me want to dance. I dance to the bathroom, closet, kitchen or living room.

• Counter-top push ups-Everytime I go to the bathroom I do 10 push-ups using the counter. I figure I am already there so do some push-ups.

Get Motivated! Setting Small Goals!

The problem with motivation is that many of us believe it's something that will come to us if we wait long enough...that someday we'll wake up and finally want to exercise. Rather than believe in that fantasy, maybe we'd all be better off by realizing that motivation is something we create, not something we wait for. It is really easy to get motivated and excited about working out when it is a future goal. I almost feel like when I do think that way I have already accomplished something. My problem in the beginning was when it came time to follow through with it my motivation would start to disappear. That's when I have to push myself beyond my comfort zone and make small goals that are easy to accomplish. For example if I plan in the morning when I will exercise during the day. It is so much easier to follow through if I already have a plan in place.

Being prepared and setting myself up for success is really the key in following through with working out. For me I have to get my workout clothes ready the night before. I need to pack my gym bag, put my gym shoes in a place where they are easy to find. I fill up my water bottle the night before so it is all ready for me in the morning. This way I have no excuses!

One thing that really got me motivated was to buy a new outfit to workout in. I only bought a few with the mind-set that they weren’t going to fit me for very long. Having new gym clothes made it more exciting to get to the gym and workout. I made sure I felt comfortable in my new outfits so I was more inclined to wear them often.

My husband and I joined a gym and I started to go slowly. I made a goal to go 3 days a week. I really had to push myself and realize I was doing this for myself. I didn't want to go and made a million excuses but started to create a routine. After about three weeks surprisingly going to the gym became something I looked forward to doing. I really enjoyed working out. Before joining the gym I had very little experience with working out. It was very overwhelming and I had no idea where to start. I knew I wanted to lose weight but I really wasn't sure how to accomplish that. My husband has been a tremendous help in getting me started. He had already been attending the gym 6 days a week and was very motivational and held me accountable. He took me around the gym and let me know what he felt would work well for me to get the results I was looking for. Actually, I really had no idea all of the benefits of combining cardio and weight lifting. The results were amazing and I started to feel better as well. I felt better than I had in a long time. I really could not understand why I had waited so long to make these changes. I actually looked forward to working out. I thought to myself....I may succeed in this and that was a nice feeling.

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” ~ Unknown Author

Keep Hydrated!

My husband's new food journey was so educational for me and very informative. He did so much research and started making so many positive dietary changes. I started to pay attention. The first change was to stop drinking any carbonated drinks. First of carbonation expands your stomach. It also can be counteractive to your weight-loss efforts as well as dehydrating. Carbonated drinks are also diuretics and remove water from your body so it may quench your thirst temporarily but water is the key element in staying hydrated. In order to burn calories you need to have an adequate amount of water to function efficiently. Water also helps maintain muscle tone by assisting your muscles in their ability to contract. Other very important benefits of drinking water:

• Get Healthy Skin
• Flush Toxins
• Reduce Your Risk Of Heart Attack
• Cushion And Lube Your Joints And Muscles
• Get Energized And Be Alert
• Stay Regular
• Reduce Your Risk Of Disease And Infection
• Regulate Your Body Temperature
• Burn More Fat And Build More Muscle

Okay so drink more water is what I kept hearing about and reading about. How was I supposed to know exactly how much water to drink? The best way to figure this out is if you take your weight and cut it in half and that is how many ounces of water you should drink a day. For example if you weigh 150 pounds you cut that in half and you should drink 75 ounces of water a day. I thought this was a nice easy trick.

I had tried many times before to drink more water and couldn't stand it. I felt like I was constantly running to the bathroom. I had to push through for a few days your while my body flushed itself of all of the water it has been storing for years of "survival mode". My body was getting rid of what it didn't need during this time. Eventually (a few days) I reached a "break-through point". I started to realize that water has amazing health benefits and this is a key element for beginning a much healthier life. It is something that has been a wonderful key to my health.

"Transformation is not five minutes from now; it's a present activity. In this moment you can make a different choice, and it's these small choices and successes that build up over time to help cultivate a healthy self-image and self esteem.".  ~Jillian Michaels

Time for change....

In 2009, my husband went to the doctor for a routine check-up and his doctor casually asked him if he had ever considered having Gastric Bypass Surgery. Brian's immediate reaction was why would I do that? I don't need surgery! I'm not that heavy! His doctor gently hinted that it might really be necessary for health reasons and he did qualify weight-wise. His doctor also mentioned having

this surgery may add 10-15 years to his life. After the shock wore off he began to consider making a huge choice. After some careful consideration of the risks he finally decided it was necessary. In preparation for the surgery he was required to lose 20 pounds on his own. He had to make some changes and start eating from the approved for list for after the surgery. He also had to cut back on his calories. Suddenly I started to slowly consider my own health and weight. I

had ignored this for quite a while and my husband’s changes to his diet made me really take a closer look at what I was eating. I had to make some CHANGES!

The first change was an easy one to begin with. The first thing I did was figure out how many calories I ate in a day. I honestly had no idea. I started

tracking my food intake on dailyplate.com. This was a huge help for me in the beginning to keep track what I was eating throughout the day. Up until now I had no clue. Another thing I quickly realized that I never felt full. I never had a full feeling and purely ate until my plate was empty. So, the first changes I made were to eat off of smaller plates. It may sound strange but that helped tremendously with my portion control. So, my first challenge was to go from eating 2000 calories in a day to 1500 calories. I also did not drink water to be healthy I drank it when I wanted to but also had no idea how much water I actually drank in a day so I started logging that as well on dailyplate.com . So, the first change I made was reducing my calories from 2000 to 1500. I also had to really realize that this was a chan

ge for the rest of my life. I had to remind myself of this often. Previously, I had tried different diets and failed because I knew they were just temporary. This was a decision to change for the rest of my life and it felt good!

Here I am at my sister's wedding around this time.

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How I got here....

Growing up I was always told I was built like my Grandma and she was a heavy woman. This is something was the first detrimental thing that affected me more than I realized. That to me meant as a woman I was going to be heavy. I have two beautiful daughters, Kayla who is 11 and Lindsey who is 7. I had a very hard time getting rid of the baby weight I had put on after each of my pregnancies. I figured it would just come off. I kept thinking to myself I will start working out and lose it easily but that never happened. I lost my Dad to Lung Cancer 5 years ago and that is also something that was a huge factor in me gaining weight. I am the older sister and I felt so much pressure to be the strong one and be there for my younger sister and my mom. At the time I didn't really deal with what had actually happened. I dealt with this by emotional eating. My blood pressure had also gotten very high during this time as well. I went to the doctor and he told me that I needed to lose 50 pounds to begin to get control of my blood pressure. It was 180/200! I was 30 years old and was in shock that my blood pressure had gotten so high, How could that be? I really did not think I had gained that much weight and thought I honestly needed to lose 20 pounds and I would be at a healthy weight. But that scared me. I had decided to try and lose weight for my health and for my family. I tried for 2 weeks with no success and gave up. I really wasn't that serious and felt like I was going to fail so why try. It was too hard and 50 pounds seemed like so much. That was too overwhelming! My fear of not being able to succeed was stronger than my fear of my health. I was put on medication for my blood pressure and monitored for a year. Finally they got control of my blood pressure but my doctor kept encouraging me to lose weight. He gave me brochures on weight management classes and nutrition classes. My response was but I eat healthy, I eat fruits and vegetables but I was also a member of the clean your plate club. This was another challenge I had to overcome. By this time I weighed 235 pounds! I hate typing that but it is the truth and that was my starting point.

My husband and his success as well as my daughters were a huge inspiration in my pathway to a healthier life.

My goal is to ispire others to have the same success I had by sharing the steps I took to get to where I am now which is 95 lbs lighter.